“A man taking basil from a woman will love her always.” – Thomas More I wonder what happens to that man and woman if the basil is substituted with spinach? Does Utopia collapse?
“Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water” – Miguel de Cervantes And the truth is, The Selfish Vegan was gifted a sweet set of love handles from Baby D a few months ago.
Have you ever caramelized grapefruit? I might have an emotional bias because I wasn’t allowed to sprinkle my grapefruit with sugar as a child, but I think it is luscious. I’m currently visiting my family and have overcome this childhood trauma by serving everyone caramelized grapefruit and watercress salads* which roughly translates to: sugar-coated grapefruit and [...]
My parents think mayonnaise is repulsive. I think my father might have liked mayonnaise once upon a time, but my mother unapologetically crushed that vice out of him early on in their marriage. (I plan to follow suit with Husband and his inexplicable love of florescent orange “cheese” balls.)
“Well and what’s cheese? Corpse of milk” – James Joyce I know it’s vulgar, but what do you want me to say? That cheese everyone is so attached to is just bovine breast milk– coagulated, pressed and moldering, sliced into blocks for you to display at your next gathering of cheese eaters.
I’ll explain this as plainly as possible: Unpressed tofu is gross, whereas pressed and marinated tofu is delicious. It took me a while to figure out this little gem and I wish someone had told me sooner. That is why I am passing on my newfound breakthrough to you, dear friends.
To properly enjoy this “poetry,” you’ll need to visualize me in dramatic repose on a gilded chaise lounge, reciting orally the following words:
The Selfish Vegan is attempting to reacquaint herself with the kitchen. What in the name of Natalie Portman’s shoes is a Mandolin Slicer for?
